Each February I make a list of some of the top things I’ve learned in the past year.

Turns out, I know less and more.

(Side note: How motivating would that slogan have been in the 80s? “The Less You Knooooow…” Cue shooting star, music, end of commercial break.)

Here’s what 2023 taught me:

LESSON 1: All of this (insert expansive arm gesture encompassing writing, publishing, and the marketing world at large) gets harder and easier in equal amounts.

Confused? Here’s how it works:
Step 1: When I started, I didn’t know what I was doing, so it was easier to keep going.
Now that I have more experience, it’s easier to get stuck in my head over things I know I “should” do.

Step 2: When I started, I didn’t know anyone or anything, so it was harder to find help.
Now that I have more experience, it’s easier to get help.

Step 3: Having help available from smart people and good resources makes it easier to learn.
Which means, I know more.
Which means, it’s easier to get stuck in my head.

Step 4: And… repeat.

What I Know Now: Having help is always better than not having help. Knowing more is better than knowing very little. I’m learning that writing is a constant balance of planning and spontaneity, information and guesswork.

LESSON 2: Taking a break is harder than continuing on.
Let me clarify – Breaks are NECESSARY for the sake of your mental, emotional, and physical health. If you need a break, please take it!

That said, what I learned from my year-long break from WELCOME TO BLOOMS is that next time I take an extended break, I need to lay some groundwork for re-entry before I go.

Coming back to my ms after 10 months away felt like reading someone else’s work. I had no idea where the story was going, the thoughts behind it, or which direction I wanted to go next.

The result? The edits I thought would take four weeks (tops!) took nearly six months.

Luckily, after a month of avoiding my work, and a second month staring at it, I wised up and asked for help. The fabulous Monica Cox coached me through organizing my thoughts, my notes, my plot’s strengths and weaknesses, until I found my way again.

What I Know Now: My friend Cass and I used to joke that it’s harder to stop going to the gym and then start back than it ever is to just go on the days you don’t want to.
I wish I’d applied that lesson here. Even if I didn’t have the time to dedicate to working on Bloom’s, I wish I’d continued to go to it regularly, if only to organize notes, maybe edit a page a day, some little way to keep my hand in. It would have made my return so much smoother.

LESSON 3: Trust your instincts, not your fears.
Everything was new to me in my debut year. I was afraid of doing all the things I knew needed to in order to promote not only my book, but myself.  

Luckily, I knew (see Lesson 1) that the way to combat getting stuck in my head was by getting help, so I worked with two coaches – the incredible book marketing strategist Jenn Hansen-dePaula of Mixtus Media, and my dear friend Megan Heffernan of Megaphone Coaching who helped me with my presentation skills.

What I learned from them is that when I trust my instincts and talk about things I’m passionate about - books, writing, other writers, pop culture - and when I step into a role I’m familiar with  - hosting, as if each reader is a friend and guest - then I can put aside the fear and be honest and comfortable in any scenario.

What I Know Now: Instincts help you open up and connect. Fears silence you.

LESSON 4: Yes, my cat is still more popular than me.
One of the things I learned in 2023 was how to create short reels for social media: little 15-30 second clips about me, my book, reviews, etc.

I planned and shot and edited and drafted and screwed up and started over SO MANY TIMES as I learned this new format. And, to my surprise, it worked. My reels did modestly well (for my expectations at least). I was happy.

Then, one day, I took a 5 second clip of Carrot staring down my mother in law’s cat during a visit. And it went viral. 5 seconds, plus all of a minute more to slap a caption on and find an audio clip from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and presto. 17k views. Sigh.

What I Know Now: 2024 is the year I put Carrot in every one of my promotions.

Overall, what I Didn’t Know I Didn’t Know in 2023 is how much help I needed (and still need). If you are on a journey toward a new career, new dream, new challenge - I hope this helps you overcome your fears and ask for help. You’ll get further than you ever thought you could with the help of your friends, your family, experts, and yes, maybe even your photogenic cat.

BONUS: Want to know more about what I didn’t know through the ages?
Click on a year to read my 2023, 2022, 2021 entries.